Reclaiming the Holidays from Diet Culture: Practical Tips

The holiday period is typically portrayed as an enjoyable time of year filled with quality time and festive meals with loved ones. Despite this, it can also bring up challenging feelings and discussions, especially about the food choices you make and any changes to your body size.

Frequently, these conversations may involve supposedly harmless but harmful remarks about the quantity of food you consume and inquiries about your weight. This can come from those around you or media messages that try to make you feel as though you must 'deserve' your holiday meals. These discussions and media posts can incite discomfort, shame, and self-degradation, and in certain cases, may engender unhealthy eating habits. Often, diet culture is the underlying cause of these draining, happiness-stealing remarks. This harmful belief system — correlating slimness with health and ethics, and labeling food and eating styles as either 'good' or 'bad' — has been firmly established within contemporary society for a considerable length of time.

However, diet culture does not have to dominate your holiday season. There are methods you can use to ensure your holiday celebrations are focused on what's really important, like being more aware of your own thoughts and actions, satisfying your needs in all areas, and creating boundaries with family and friends.

While diet culture and its impacts can be present all-year-round, their insidious and extreme forms are especially evident during the holiday season when food becomes a central feature of the celebrations. The media and social networks are among the primary channels for the season's harmful messaging regarding food, body, and exercise. Comments from others, whether it be colleagues or family, can be the most challenging to handle.

Examples include remarks like, 'I avoided breakfast and lunch so I could eat more during the Thanksgiving dinner,' or 'I abstained from food throughout the day to enjoy the Christmas party.' You might also encounter suggestions for everyone to engage in a turkey trot or morning exercise to 'burn off' the food, said, Letal Yerganjiev, M.S., R.D., C.D.C.E.S., an Atlanta-based registered dietitian.

Phrases like 'I can't indulge in desserts this year. Sugar is harmful,' 'Once the New Year comes, I'm going to be 'good' again,' 'I overindulged with all that food and those drinks. I need to exercise even more strenuously tomorrow,' or 'You're really getting a second helping?' can also be common.

These types of comments, while often seen as normal, can damage both the individuals who utter them and those who hear them, as well as other people in hearing distance. Even if you're not personally being criticized for your looks or the food on your plate, the sheer exposure to such unhealthy rhetoric can disrupt your enjoyment of food and make you vulnerable to body concerns. These remarks promote inflexible health tactics that lack scientific evidence, ultimately linking food intake to moral character, physical activity to punishment, and fostering unhealthy relationships with food and your body in general.

Believing in diet-culture brings undue guilt and shame, notes Melissa Nieves, M.P.H., L.N.D., R.D., a Puerto Rico-based registered dietitian and the originator of Fad Free Nutrition Blog. Failure to live up to personal expectations of how to act during the festive season, such as by consuming certain foods or portions, may induce feelings of 'failure,' resulting in negative emotions like sadness, anger, and annoyance, potentially diminishing your holiday joy.

Moreover, the pervasive diet-culture messaging can lead to social withdrawal and fixation, according to Nieves. The constant pressure from media portrayals and societal expectations of holiday appearances and behavior can interfere with forming significant connections with others. Diet culture-based behavior can detract from meaningful interactions with loved ones, adds Yerganjiev. If you're constantly worried about managing food consumption during the holiday season, it can distract you from living in the moment. You might miss out on joyful times with your family because you're focused on daily workouts leading up to a Thanksgiving dinner, or choose not to join family cookie-decorating events due to guilt about overeating at a holiday office party.

The influence of diet culture extends beyond food and exercise, with elements of fatphobia and body-shaming often making the holiday period difficult for people grappling with body acceptance, according to Nieves. Unwanted and inappropriate comments about other people's bodies can be deeply damaging to self-esteem, emotional health, and mental wellbeing. In real life, this might be your sibling making derogatory remarks about a relative's weight gain at the Thanksgiving dinner. Such negative remarks about people's bodies, whether said directly or behind their backs, reinforce weight stigma, leading to long-term detrimental effects on their physical, mental, and emotional health, as supported by research.

No matter the form of the comment, messages from diet culture can greatly harm those dealing with an eating disorder, employing disordered eating behaviors, struggling with body image, or living in a larger physique. Importantly, it's impossible to discern if someone has an eating disorder or body image problems just by looking at them, as these worries can affect individuals of all shapes and sizes. Thus, even seemingly well-intentioned comments can cause a relapse or further amplify the stress of the already tense holiday season.

You are entitled to relish the holiday season without worrying over your eating habits and weight. Here are some strategies that can assist you in achieving this.

If you find yourself in the midst of diet-culture discourse at a holiday gathering, alternatively, change the topic to something more pleasant and enjoyable for everyone. If you're feeling brave, you can counter that you prefer not to discuss food and body issues. "There's no obligation for you to engage in conversations centered around diet culture," advises Yerganjiev. If it seems genuine and comfortable, you could unveil a healthier perspective on food, health, and holidays.

If you pick up on comments or notions steeped in diet culture and feel stress and anxiety starting to take hold, take a pause. Ground yourself, center your attention on the soles of your feet and the floor, and find your breath. You might also want to hold an item that helps you feel anchored and secure. Next, consider what the holidays are — and are not — about for you this year and evaluate if diet-culture messages are congruent with your vision. More often than not, anything stemming from diet culture sidetracks you from your values and your true self.

After grounding yourself, try to understand the source of these comments. "Recognize the various ways diet culture can permeate holiday festivities and grasp what fuels this messaging — chiefly misogynistic attitudes and the dieting sector seeking to earn extra money," says Nieves. Unsurprisingly, the diet industry is valued at over $70 billion and is rooted in sexism and racism, compelling you to focus solely on your body size, ignoring your full existence as a nourished, dynamic human being.

What do you need to hear if you're affected by diet culture? Returning to your values often helps. So when someone remarks about your plate's portion sizes or a companion suggests burning off dinner with a jog, write down or verbalize these affirmations.

'The least fascinating thing about me is my body.'

'I have the right to genuinely connect with those around me.'

'I am permitted to enjoy eating.'

If you find yourself at an event where diet culture talk prevails and it negatively impacts you, understand that it's completely fine for you to take a break. Excusing yourself for a few minutes can provide an opportunity to reconnect with yourself and your affirmation. Remember that it's always perfectly acceptable to head home when you're ready and prioritize your mental and emotional health over socializing with distant relatives.

Although resisting diet culture is easier said than done due to its pervasive presence in social media, television, and conversations, succeeding can be empowering and enhance your holiday experience. Here are a few methods to diminish its impact before you attend your office party or Friendsgiving.

Say you're going to your aunt's house for a holiday meal, and you know she's bound to make a weight- or food-focused comment (e.g. asking if you're sure you want another piece of pumpkin pie). Before you head to the event, give her a call to set a respectful boundary. You might say, 'I'm working on my relationship with food and would rather not talk about food or body topics this year.' There are far more interesting things to discuss than what's on your plate or the size of your body, but if you're concerned the conversation will go sour, brainstorm alternative topics to discuss at the dinner table.

If you appreciate guided imagery, try closing your eyes and imagining some sort of boundary around yourself before heading to your next gathering. It could be a beautiful, luminous light or a cocoon of sorts — whatever comes to you and helps you feel safe within yourself. Throughout the event, if you notice disordered food and body comments around you, take a moment to come back to your imagined safe space in your mind.

The year's end can be the perfect time to reflect on how much time you spend on social media, how much time you want to spend, and why you use it. Once you're clear with your social media intentions, curate a feed that aligns with your values and uplifts — not disempowers — you. 'This can be a great time to get rid of any social media accounts that perpetuate diet culture and weight stigma and instead find those that promote body liberation and self-acceptance,' says Nieves. For example, you may look for posts promoting the message that all bodies are good bodies and all foods fit and steer clear of content promoting calorie counting or weight loss, including before-and-after photos or 'what I eat in a day' videos.

Having a network of loved ones who understand your viewpoint is one of the simplest ways you can disengage from diet culture this season. 'Create a support system of friends and family who are also aware of the harm of diet culture and will not judge or pressure you regarding your food choices,' suggests Nieves. You may also want to focus on practicing intuitive eating, which entails eating regular meals and snacks, adopting an all-foods-fit mentality, focusing on satisfaction, honoring your body's cues, and unlinking food from morality. All in all, 'take care of yourself both mentally and physically by getting enough sleep, eating from a place of body wisdom, and practicing self-care,' says Nieves.

Taking the path less traveled and opting out of diet culture takes commitment, resilience, and patience, especially during the holiday season. But the rewards — genuine connection, presence, and pleasure — make it well worth the effort.

If you are struggling with an ED, you can call the toll-free, confidential NEDA Helpline at 1-800-931-2237.