How Exposure Therapy Helped Me Overcome Social Anxiety Disorder

As a preschooler, the label “shy” was attached to my name and stuck with me. I disliked the term because it prevented me from forming close relationships, as people saw me only as shy. When I was young, I struggled with forming connections with others during play dates as I had difficulty with nonverbal communication and give-and-take conversation. Even in adolescence, I had a small circle of friends but was often left out of extracurricular activities. Eventually, I realized that I wanted to form stronger bonds and took a chance on therapy in college.

One day, during my sophomore year, a male student in the student union approached me and offered a free depression screening. After showing high anxiety markers, he referred me to the university’s psychology clinic for a low-cost fee, and I decided to take the chance. After years of feeling insecure and struggling to assert myself, I finally had a safe space to talk about my experiences.

With the help of my therapist, I learned that many situations made me anxious, particularly those that involve social interactions. On a scale that measures social anxiety disorder, I scored “severe” at 30. Over time, my therapist and I worked through exposure therapy, including role-playing with other clinicians and seeking real-world opportunities to initiate contact with people. My score eventually dropped to 10, and I finally felt like I could thrive.

My therapist did not formally diagnose me as neurodivergent at the time, but I am grateful for the journey to wellness that began when I was 20. Today, I know that I am worth more than just getting by and deserve to thrive.

Below are some exercises that helped me through exposure therapy:

As a disclaimer, I am not a healthcare provider, and it is important to work with one. These activities helped me, and I hope they can help others as well.

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