Psychologists Reveal 7 Commonly Misunderstood 'Therapy Speak' Terms

“Some of the ‘trauma’ [people are casually referring to] is often normal experience,” Albers-Bowling said. As such, labeling those normal experiences as “traumatic” may make them more challenging to process, she added.

If someone is having a difficult time defining an incident that has had a significant impact on them, it might be helpful for them to speak with a licensed mental health professional who can help them work through their experience, Albers-Bowling said.

The psychological concept of attachment theory states that how you develop an attachment to your primary caregiver as a child could affect how you relate to others as an adult. Therefore, knowing your attachment style may help you work through certain relational challenges, said Albers-Bowling.

“Understanding your attachment style can be really helpful,” she explained, adding that it can give you insights into how you date or parent. But your attachment style doesn’t always dictate your behavior, though many speak about it as if that’s the case.

Specifically, some people use their attachment style to justify certain behaviors, said Albers-Bowling: “It can provide an excuse.” An example could be, “I have an anxious attachment style, and therefore I ghost people,” she said, but the former doesn’t adequately serve as a reason for the latter.

Like bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a clinical diagnosis, said Puder. It’s a chronic condition that causes a person to have uncontrollable, recurring thoughts and behaviors. (The thoughts are referred to as “obsessions,” while the behaviors make up the “compulsions” component of the diagnosis.)

But, as with narcissism, many people refer to a single action or behavior as “OCD.” Oftentimes, Puder said, they’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but their use of the term leaves others to wonder, “Do you actually have OCD, or are you just having a moment?”

Referring to a certain set of behaviors as OCD without having been diagnosed with the condition isn’t just incorrect, Puder said: It can also stigmatize people who have the condition.

The concept of self-care is simplistic in nature. “Self-care is taking care of the basics: enough sleep, water—just paying attention to what you need,” Albers-Bowling said.

But in popular culture—especially on social media—the phrase is often used synonymously with socioeconomic privilege. “It can be a status symbol,” added Albers-Bowling. “It’s often associated with very expensive spa days, and having the time, money, and energy to do that reflects something.”

Despite contemporary portrayals of “self-care,” mental health experts use the term to help people determine how their basic needs can be met, Albers-Bowling said.

When people incorporate these words into their everyday vocabulary, they’re not necessarily being malicious. “If someone is using a high number of these therapy terms, they might be in therapy, and it’s part of how they process,” Albers-Bowling said.

But for clarity’s sake, you may need to ask the person you’re speaking to what they mean when using these phrases. According to Puder, examples of those questions include: “How would you define what a narcissist is?” or “What do you mean by ‘attachment style?”

Albers-Bowling explained she often has to do this with patients during therapy sessions. “I always say, ‘Could you define what that means?’” she said. “Sometimes our definitions are very different from each other.”