Acknowledging the Validity of Your Emotions: Combatting Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Q: “Whenever I encounter feelings of rejection, slighting, or hurt, I struggle to decipher if my emotions are genuine or if they're tainted by rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD). How can I discern this? I often grapple with thoughts of whether I may be blowing things out of proportion or if I am responding proportionally. Sometimes, I feel as though I might not have the right to bear such intense negative feelings.”

As a person who also experiences high intensity emotions (I was labelled 'Super Sensitive Sharon' throughout my childhood), I deeply resonate with your uncertainties surrounding the legitimacy of your feelings. Whenever I experience overwhelming feelings, I often find myself questioning my emotional stability. Thoughts like, “Why am I excessively upset? It seems like everyone else is reacting differently to this situation,” are all too common for me. Nonetheless, with time, I’ve learnt that being hypersensitive isn't faulty or abnormal. In fact, this heightened sensitivity has aided me significantly in my role as a psychologist.

Your feelings are valid — whether influenced by RSD, neurotypical or not. You have the absolute right to express your emotions in any means you deem fit. Do individuals dealing with ADHD tend to experience emotions more intensely? Undoubtedly. And we can't discuss ADHD without touching on emotional dysregulation, which greatly impacts how you respond to emotions. It’s also noteworthy to mention that RSD tends to cloud your perception of events, making it difficult for you to perceive responses in a neutral manner; thus, you may perceive harm or threat where there is none.

Despite this, chastising yourself for how you feel does more harm than good. A more beneficial approach would be to normalize your feelings. Even better, you should allow yourself to accept and introspect your emotional reactions.

A trustworthy way to get an accurate appraisal of your interpretation of a situation is to consult with a friend, partner, coach, therapist, or anyone who understands your neurological condition. For instance, you can express, “Something happened and I don't know if I'm reading too much into it. How would you feel in this situation? What's your opinion on how I should feel if this was said to you?” Contemplating this helps shift perspectives. You may realize that a certain comment directed at you was merely careless and doesn't reflect on your character. Alternatively, if the situation was indeed unfortunate, use it as a stepping stone to reflect on your resilience and learn from this experience.

Whether you're dealing with RSD or not, I'd like to close with a quote by Maya Angelou: “You may not control all events that transpire in your life, but you have the power to choose not to be defeated by them.”

The information for this article has been sourced from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar named - “RSD Toolkit: Strategies for Managing Your Sensitivities in Real Time”presented by Sharon Saline, Psy.D. on October 19, 2023.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE Your readership and support contribute to the realization of our mission at ADDitude - providing extensive education and assistance for ADHD. On that note, please consider subscribing. We appreciate your support that enables us to continue our work and outreach programs. Thank you.