Fathers with ADHD: Practical Parenting Tips

Parenting a child with ADHD can be a challenging task. As a father living with ADHD, I know that it is essential to manage our own symptoms first to provide the necessary structure and support to our children. This begins with regulating emotions, managing stress, and responding positively to our child's emotional needs.

Here are some parenting tips that can help you develop a more meaningful connection with your child.

Do not jump to problem-solving right away. When children or spouses express their problems, many men adopt a problem-solving approach. However, most children only want to feel heard. Try validating your child by saying, "That sounds really hard/frustrating/scary. I'm sorry you're going through that.” Ask your child if they want your help with problem-solving after this.

Picture this scenario: you have asked your child twice to put their dirty dish in the dishwasher. Later, you make a third request, but the dish is still in the sink hours later. You might be frustrated, and your child may not understand why. Instead of exploding, talk to your child at eye level, make them feel safe, and use humor to de-escalate your response. You could say, "This is the fourth time I've asked you to put your dish in the dishwasher. If I see the dish in the sink when I come back, I'm going to go bananas."

Children with ADHD require clear and specific rules, directions, and consistency. When you ask your child to clean their room, be more precise and say, "Move your clothes from the floor to the hamper." Breaking chores into smaller, more manageable steps can also reduce opposition.

It is normal for all children to have outbursts. Forgiving your child for their reactions and mistakes strengthens the bond and shows them that they have your unwavering love and support. At the same time, apologize to your child when you lose your cool. It is a sign of respect that they will appreciate.

When your child's ADHD-related challenges remind you of your own, you might feel frustration, guilt, and anger. Be mindful of when this is happening. Getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, and spending time in nature can help you cope with daily stress and be a more patient parent.

Brendan Mahan, M.Ed., M.S., is the producer and host of the ADHD Essentials podcast.

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