Parenting Advice: Tips for Navigating the Holidays with ADHD

The holiday season often stirs up a buzz of activity with its endless stream of parties, celebrations and concerts. It's no surprise that it can leave both children and adults feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and frustrated.

Edward Hallowell, M.D., a renowned ADHD expert, best-selling author, and founder of the Hallowell Centers, provides some valuable insights on managing the frenetic pace of the festive season, drawing from his experiences in his ADHD household.

The spirit of the holidays should be centered on joy and celebration instead of micromanaging every moment. Over-planning can drain the fun out of festivities and usually falls short of expectations, says Dr. Hallowell. Instead, focus on connecting with your loved ones.

Although the abundance of concerts, celebrations, and bazaars might disrupt a child’s routine, keeping your family informed about changes can ease the transition. Assure them that changes in plans can be exciting, and promote adaptability. This foresight can help children with ADHD manage their reactions to unexpected situations.

In times of potential confusion or discomfort -- such as changes in meal times or gift giving traditions -- it can be helpful to establish some basic guidelines ahead of time, Dr. Hallowell suggests. A simple explanation like, "We're having dinner at 4 p.m. due to the feast's enormity and Aunt Jenny’s long drive home," can help to rationalize the change in routine.

No matter how much prior planning is involved, the euphoria of the holidays can sometimes unleash chaos. In these moments, speak to your child calmly and take a break if needed. Remember that as a parent, your actions are an example for your child, so recognizing when to take a break is crucial.

It's common for holiday meltdowns to occur. In such cases, Dr. Hallowell recommends modeling calm and composed behavior. Sometimes, keeping silent and maintaining a calm exterior can be more effective than verbal responses. Remember, your body language speaks volumes.

Given the bombardment of holiday-themed content everywhere, Dr. Hallowell advises designating a quiet, tech-free space where children can decompress from the sensory overload. Those traveling during the holidays could use their car as a 'peace zone.'

During the holidays, people often overcommit to activities which can lead to exhaustion and burnout. Dr. Hallowell advises taking a step back and assessing how many commitments you can reasonably handle. Overstimulation is often a cause of misbehavior in kids with ADHD, so pacing activities and learning to say “No” is key.

Develop a calendar plan for shopping, wrapping presents, cooking, and cleaning. Trying to fit in these tasks without proper planning can lead to undue stress. Pacing oneself and getting an early start on activities can efficiently curb holiday stress.