"Mein grausamer Freund will nicht mehr im selben Bett schlafen, weil ich ihm das Ekelgefühl gebe" - OK! Magazin

In Lalalaletmeexplain's hit column, readers ask for her expert advice on their own love, sex and relationship problems. With over 200k Instagram followers, Lala is the anonymous voice helping womankind through every bump in the road. An established sex, dating and relationship educator, she’s had her fair share of relationship drama and shares her wisdom on social media to a loyal army of followers. Every week thousands turn to her to answer their questions (no matter how embarrassing), and her funny, frank approach to love and relationships has made her the ultimate feel-good guru. For this week's column, simply continue reading... Dear Lala, My boyfriend says my periods are disgusting, specifically MY periods. Not anyone else’s. He has had three serious girlfriends before me and he said that they all had normal periods and that mine are abnormal. Never in my life before have I felt like there is anything wrong with my periods at all. I don’t particularly suffer with them but they are quite heavy and I don’t wear tampons, usually period knickers or pads, so occasionally I will leak in bed. I have always felt lucky not to be dealing with things like endometriosis like some of my friends because they really suffer, but that is the opposite of me. So, I’m just really confused by him saying this. He says it with a tone of humor but I know he means it as he refuses to sleep in a bed with me when I’m on and if I ever leak and he’s around he will make a huge deal out of it and will always mention that he has never known a girl to leak how I do before. It has made me so self-conscious, I never worried about my periods at all, now I dread the week that I am due on because I know that I basically give him the ick for five days. Do other women leak a lot? Is this a him problem? Lala Says, Well it’s certainly not a you problem, or a period problem. It sounds like it is entirely a him problem. He sounds problematic. Your periods are likely to be part of your life for a lot longer than this man is. They are an unchangeable part of you and they are not disgusting. Nobody’s period is disgusting, no matter how heavy it is, no matter how often they leak, no matter what. This man is a missed period himself and he needs to grow up. It is unacceptable to make you feel this way. Especially to compare you to previous girlfriends in an attempt to make you feel different and inadequate. Instead of educating himself and learning about how every woman’s period differs and how it will change throughout her life, he has decided to make you feel awful about something that you have no control over. It is immature at best, emotionally abusive at worst. If you’re leaking through every night despite trying multiple options, or if you’re soaking through a pad or tampon every hour or two, that might suggest a heavy menstrual flow (menorrhagia). If that’s the case, it’s worth speaking to your GP or a gynaecologist especially if you’re also experiencing fatigue, clots, or cramping. But leaking at night is VERY common and very normal, your position while sleeping can allow blood to pool, so when you move, it can suddenly leak. You may go 6–8 hours without changing a pad or tampon while asleep, which increases the risk of overflow. Shifting around can cause pads to shift or tampons to become less effective in one position. It is normal. The worst thing about it should be the inconvenience of extra washing, not offending a partner with your normal bodily functions. I can’t see a healthy future with this man. How would he handle all the bodily functions that come with pregnancy? How would he manage heavy bleeding postpartum? If you never have kids, how would he cope with incontinence when you’re elderly? Or any of the other potentially ‘disgusting’ things that might come with aging or chronic illness? If we are choosing life partners then we need to choose those who will support us through sickness and ill-health and who wouldn’t be turned off by us simply being humans. You deserve to feel safe and respected in your body every day of the month. If someone makes you feel ashamed of something so natural and unavoidable, they’re not just showing you who they are, they're showing you that they don’t deserve access to you. Your body isn’t the problem. His attitude is.