"Divorcing in My 60s: Life Lacks Its Former Sparkle - A Personal View Like Ruth Langsford's" - OK! Magazine

Despite the age-old promise of 'till death do us part' and a record low divorce rate in England and Wales in 2022, the phenomenon of 'silver separators' is on the rise. In 2021, a whopping one in four divorces was filed by individuals aged over 50, and from 1993 to 2019, the divorce rate among those over 60 has shockingly doubled. Even high-profile couples like broadcasters Ruth Langsford and Eamonn Holmes, both 64, are navigating through the waters of divorce. For Marian Elliott, now 71, the collapse of her marriage at 60 was nothing short of a bombshell.

'I'd taken early retirement and my husband was about to retire. We were supposed to be enjoying ourselves and it all just imploded. The split came as a huge shock,' she told OK!. Marian reminisced about how their romance blossomed: 'We met when I started a new job at his office. I was actually taking his place, but there was a month's overlap. He used to play rugby, and I used to do teas at the club. We both really liked musical theatre, so we were always going to shows. We were like-minded and enjoyed doing that sort of thing.'

After investing 38 years into her marriage, Marian had envisioned a future filled with grand holidays, family visits overseas, theatre outings, and city breaks. But a decade after her divorce, those dreams were scattered, leaving her to face an unexpected new beginning. 'When he left I felt so lonely and so alone in the house. It was like this big, huge, empty blank. I felt very aware that he wasn't there. It's the first time I had ever slept alone in my bed in 38 years. We did everything together; I felt I couldn't do anything on my own. Around five years after he left, I thought, 'I'm going to book myself tickets to a musical.' But I drove round and round and ended up coming home because I couldn't face going into the theatre on my own because that was always our thing.'

'I still haven't been to a show on my own. We used to come out, go for a drink or a meal and talk about it. I just can't do it without him. It has lost its joy. Life has less sparkle. I'm OK when I'm with people, but the minute I get back indoors, shut the front door and I'm on my own, with the animals, I go into a slump. I miss him, I can't help it.'

Divorce is not only emotionally draining but also financially challenging, with the average cost in the UK is £14,561. For those divorcing later in life, there are other financial issues to face, such as pensions. On average women need to work an extra 19 years to retire with the same pension savings as men. And one study found that women who divorce after the age of 50 experience a 45% drop in their standard of living, while men's standard of living only drops by 21%.

Divorce lawyer Victoria Walker from Moore Barlow has highlighted a growing trend of 'silver splitters', noting: 'Separating in later life is becoming far more common. Sometimes people wait until their children finish education before divorcing, to provide stability and security. Others aren't able to financially separate until they're older, or want to maintain a certain lifestyle for as long as possible,' She also points out the contentious issue of pension sharing, with many men balking at the idea. 'Pension sharing is an issue that people may face, which often needs the advice of a pension expert. Typically, men don't like the idea of sharing their pension(s), and this can often be the most valuable asset after the family home.'

Marian, who found herself navigating the choppy waters of late-life divorce, shared her fears about financial security. 'I was worried because my pension was only half of what my husband's was, so I had no idea what my standard of living was going to be. I was frightened,' she confesses. The impact on her day-to-day life is stark, as she admits to scrimping and saving: 'I've become wiser at finding better deals. I don't have a lot of money left over, but I have enough. There are certainly no holidays any more.'

The housing market added to her woes, with Marian finding herself unable to afford a new home in Guildford, where she had lived for two decades. 'All I could afford were places that people had started pulling apart, and hadn't finished. I thought, 'I can't take that on. I'm in too much of a fragile state,'' she reveals, expressing her resentment towards the situation. Marian relocated to the more budget-friendly Kent coast, sharing, 'The only people I knew in the area were my cousin and her husband and a work colleague. I thought, 'This isn't going to be enough. I need people,'' she admits. 'I was 60 at the time of the split and 64 when I moved out. I thought it wasn't a good age to start making new friends because most people had their own friends and cliques. I felt so lonely.'