Exclusive: Natasha Lyonne Regrets Quitting Smoking as She Feels "Softer"

Natasha Lyonne may not be fully embracing her non-smoking journey, but she knows it's for the best. Speaking exclusively with PEOPLE on Thursday at the NBC Universal Emmys Kick-Off Luncheon, the 44-year-old Poker Face actress and longtime smoker gave an update on how she's doing after quitting cigarettes - admitting it's been "a nightmare."

"I'll be honest. It's the worst decision I ever made," she teases. "Of course, my true and deep hope is that the technology will get there such that I'm able to smoke again consequence-free since it's one of the great loves of my life."

Still, Lyonne stands by her choice, especially taking into account the health risks associated with smoking.

"As a destructive person, it really is like committing in a way I cannot deny to signing up for life completely," Lyonne says, noting what drove her to the decision. "Like, it was the final gap between, me sort of saying I'm gonna be a participating member of society and really going all the way in. And I think a lot of it has to do with like I just feel like, you know, I still wanna write and direct movies. I still wanna get to make more seasons of Poker Face. I wanna get to have more life. And I think I was genuinely just scared by like the reality of it."

Since giving up cigarettes, Lyonne says she has noticed a change in her life. "I'm becoming a lot softer with age," she says. "I was like, tough for so many years - like leather, sunglasses, chain, smoking, tough guy. And I'm noticing that I'm getting much softer."

As an example, she recalls going on vacation with her Orange Is the New Black costars Samira Wiley and Dascha Polanco. "We had our little Orange tribe and some other pals with us and I just noticed how soft I am," she recounts. "When I look at Samira, like it makes me wanna cry cause I love her so much, you know what I mean? And she's a mom now and she's married and like, it's just so crazy that there's that sort of life evolution that happens as we know each other for years. So I notice that I'm sort of, I'm becoming a bit of a softie in my old age."

The SAG Award winner has been documenting her journey of quitting smoking on social media, with famous friends like Melissa Etheridge and Lily Tomlin offering words of encouragement.

"Hey @nlyonne I see you are quitting smoking. As a 19-year cancer thriver, I want to give you all of the encouragement I can," wrote Etheridge, 61, on Twitter. "Your show #PokerFace freaking rocks!! Just like #RussianDoll you are amazing! You got this!! It's so cool!!"

Lyonne responded: "Woowowow!! Thank you!! So cool!!"

"Chin up, darling," replied Tomlin, 83, on the post, to which Lyonne wrote: "Wow! If getting encouragement from you is a perk of not smoking - I'll take it!"

The NYC-native previously shared a throwback selfie with a cigarette in her mouth, writing: "I miss smoking a lot already."

Along with Lyonne's health mission, she has also been through another major transition this past year. Last April, the Orange is the New Black alum spoke to Entertainment Weekly about her then-recent split from her boyfriend of nearly eight years, Fred Armisen.

After confirming their amicable breakup earlier that month, Lyonne shared that she had entered her "divorced dad era."

Never miss a story - sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.