"Laser Eye Surgery Left Me in Agony, Preventing Me from Starting a Family - OK! Magazine"

Prior to the laser eye surgery, I was shortsighted. I was finding glasses difficult to wear at the gym and trying to use contacts had mostly been unsuccessful. I had also hoped not to wear glasses for my wedding day. My mum had undergone laser eye surgery many years prior and suggested I consider it.

I felt anxious on the day of the surgery in January 2019, but my surgeon reassured me the procedure was completely safe and that I was in good hands. However, within 48 hours of the surgery, I experienced extreme eye pain, halos and photosensitivity. I was told at my first follow-up appointment that this was normal, that I was healing well, and that I could return to work in the next few days.

As time passed and the pain persisted I underwent several consultations with my surgeon and their colleagues, but they were unable to identify the cause of my pain. Over the week my symptoms persisted and my health deteriorated. I became incapacitated with pain and was unable to go to work. I found it difficult to leave my apartment.

Due to the photosensitivity, I was forced to spend many days in a darkened room and listen to podcasts as it hurt to look at phone or computer screens for more than a minute or two. The pain felt like shards of glass slicing into my eyes. The pain also manifested itself as a sharp, burning, or stinging sensation, and it was and still is a constant presence in my life.

Even small things like wind or air conditioning could trigger an unbearable flare. I was forced to wear large protective eyewear to try and minimise the impact. People would sometimes make fun of me for wearing them in public, and while wearing them helped, they soon became a source of anxiety and stress.

I was later diagnosed with bilateral post-laser refractive surgery corneal neuralgia. I was completely devastated when I was initially diagnosed, and I remember leaving the appointment with tears streaming down my face. I was terrified when I found out that the pain, I was dealing with was going to be a long-term thing with no cure in sight.

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The photosensitivity (light sensitivity) lasted a few months before it finally resolved, but the pain has never gone away. It’s something I’ve lived with every day since my surgery. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be pain-free again and accepting this as my new normal has been incredibly difficult. I also now experience eye and facial spasms.

We went ahead with our wedding day despite seriously contemplating its cancellation for a while. To ensure I could manage the day I had a medication plan. Despite the measures, I still experienced a lot of pain during the event and needed several weeks to recover afterwards. However, it was all worth it as it turned out to be a beautiful day.

I completely regret ever considering laser eye surgery. The complications have had a profound impact on my mental well-being and quality of life. Prior to the procedure, I was in excellent physical and mental state, excited about my career, planning my wedding day, and looking forward to milestones like buying my first home and starting a family.

However, since undergoing laser eye surgery everything in my life has changed. I have had to let go of the future I had envisioned for myself and many of my dreams. Before the surgery, my partner Liam and I had made plans to start trying for our first child in mid to late 2019. It was a dream that filled us with so much excitement and happiness.

But then I got the devastating news that the medication I was taking to manage my symptoms could cause harm to a child during pregnancy. I was heartbroken but a pregnancy would be considered high-risk.

Over the last four years, I have witnessed many of my friends and family welcome beautiful babies into the world. While I genuinely share their happiness, I cannot escape the overwhelming sense of sadness and longing I feel. I often find myself wondering if I'll ever experience the joy of pregnancy and the bond between a mother and her child.