Gender Inequity in ADHD: The Misogynistic and Sexist Remarks Women Encounter

Gender roles may be outdated, but they still have an impact on every woman's life. Unfortunately, for women with ADHD, sexism and ignorance are often combined which invites hurtful and unhelpful comments. ADDitude asked their readers what gender role judgments and observations have negatively impacted them on their ADHD journey.

"I'll never forget how worthless my high school math teacher made me feel when she said it 'wasn't worth her time' to stay after school and help me understand her lessons." - Rebecca, Rhode Island

"I've spent my entire life being told that I'm to blame for my own chaos. Comments like 'you're sabotaging yourself' stick with me because they were said by someone specifically brought in to help me with my ADHD. It's devastating to be told repeatedly that the struggles I have are my own fault, especially when I'm working so hard." - An ADDitude Reader

"Every report card I ever got talked about unrealized potential. I was constantly called 'moody' and a 'daydreamer.' It was all so hurtful." - Cathy

"'Flaky.' 'Forgetful.' 'Late.' 'Messy.' 'Disorganized.' Comments like 'you just need to...' make it seem like it should be simple. But every time someone brings it up, it pokes at the pain and distills into shame and trauma." - An ADDitude Reader

ADHD can manifest differently in women and girls than in men and boys. If you're a woman or a girl who wonders if ADHD might be part of your life, take our ADHD self-test and find out more about ADHD symptoms in women and girls.

"My family and friends have always told me to 'Calm down' or 'Relax!' I often feel like I'm seen as an oversensitive or emotional woman. It's caused me to avoid speaking up at times." - An ADDitude Reader

"My nickname growing up was 'Super-Klutz.' My parents would sit on the front porch and see me limping down the street, maybe crying, and say 'Here comes Super-Klutz!' They were trying to cheer me up, but it had the opposite effect." - Amy, Illinois

"All my life, I've been told by my mum and sister to turn down my enthusiasm. I was just being enthusiastic, but they made me feel like I was over the top and embarrassed them." - Susan, Holland

"'You just need to stop being so lazy. You could do this if you tried harder.' " - An ADDitude Reader

Feeling like you don't belong is a common feeling for many with ADHD. If you're feeling lost or alone with ADHD, remember you're not alone. Download our free guide on Inattentive ADHD to learn more about the condition.

"'Just be yourself.' This was frustrating because I knew that if I were myself, people wouldn't like me. I ended up copying everyone around me, but still didn't fit in." - Katherine, Florida

"'Imagine what you could be achieving if you didn't have ADHD,' and 'intelligent women don't need to write things on their hands to stay organized.' " - An ADDitude Reader

"Unhelpful negative comments on report cards that shamed me: 'She could do much better if she applied herself.' 'Does not work to potential.' These types of comments eroded my confidence and self-worth and sent a clear message that I wasn't enough, despite earning top grades." - An ADDitude Reader

"'You are extremely intelligent, you have so much potential, but you don't apply yourself. All you need to do is listen, pay attention and not get upset so easily. It's your choice to succeed or fail.' " - Katie, Washington

If you found this article helpful, please consider supporting ADDitude by subscribing. Your support helps make their content and outreach possible. Thank you for reading.