Golden Bachelorette's Joan Opens Up About Mourning Late Husband on Show: 'It Was a Real Struggle'

Joan Vassos has been open about her late husband John’s passing during the debut season of The Golden Bachelorette, and she admitted that grieving his death was a difficult part of her time on the show.

“I really struggled with that in the middle of the season,” Joan, 61, told People in an interview published on Wednesday, November 6. “The Bachelor gives you access to psychiatrists that are actually at the mansion with you on the show, and so I did that. I actually had an appointment with them and we talked about what it would be, why it was so hard for me to move on in this journey and that I felt like I was still in love with John and I never would not be in love with him. And they’re like, ‘Well, that’s fine.’”

Joan explained that they instructed her to imagine she had a balloon in each hand in which one was John and one was “this other person that you have feelings for.” The psychiatrist added, “You don’t have to let go of this one to have this one also … There’s room in your heart and in your memory for more than one person.’”

“I just needed to hear that it was OK,” she shared. “I didn’t have to not love John anymore, and I didn’t know that.”

Joan added that the mental health professionals, as well as the fast pace of the show, helped her process her grief and open her heart to someone new.

“I evolved a lot over the season,” she told the outlet. “I came in there thinking that I was so ready to find love and then realized that it’s a way different journey than I thought it was going to be. But I feel like I grew, and I don’t think I ever would be where I am today if I hadn’t done this, because it kind of gave me the motivation to get through some of these emotions quickly because I wanted to end up with somebody.”

Joan was married to John for 33 years before he died at the age of 59 in January 2021 following a two-year battle with pancreatic cancer. The couple share four children together: Nicholas, Erica, Allison and Luke.

The reality star has spoken about their relationship on the show and has fondly recalled their time together while doing press for The Golden Bachelorette.

“I feel like he maybe had a little hand in me actually getting here, honestly,” she told Entertainment Tonight in June 2024. “He told me right before he passed away, ‘You need to go out and find somebody else. You were the best wife in the world and I want you to be happy.’ He gave me this wonderful gift before he died, and he said go and do something, and so here I am.”

Joan also reflected on the connections she created on the show during her conversation with People, and she admitted that she thought it would be “impossible” to fall for more than one person.

“It just seems very unlike me, and I was really wrong about that,” she told the outlet. “I did end up having feelings for more than one person, and that was surprising.”